Still Another Important Tool For Growth
One of the most profound tools that I have to assist me in my spiritual growth is the capacity to understand what my negative ego is up to. By “negative ego” I am referring to the aspect of the ego whose function is to keep us from reaching our full soul potential. In the long run, of course, it is not “negative”, in that it simply brings up those aspects which we are transforming; guilt, self-reproach, obsession, projection, self-pity, hostility, etc.
If we can understand (without analyzing to death) the role that the thoughts or emotions which burden us are playing in our lives; we can go a very long way to allowing these thoughts and emotions to lose their charge. I agree of course with the Buddhists who say that “we are not our thoughts”, and who suggest that we observe these thoughts as they pass through us. In addition, what has been extremely liberating for me personally, is to be able to recognize what certain thoughts and emotions are “up to”; and to be able to lovingly identify their game as I observe them and allow them to pass through me. In so doing I have been able to acquire some precious distance between my experience of self, and those thoughts which come from the negative ego.
For example, I will have certain thoughts which can stop me dead in my tracks and make it very hard for me to do the things that bring me joy. With the help of my amorphous friends (The Ones With No Names, channeled by Flo Aeveia Magdalena) I have come to understand that these thoughts are simply my negative ego’s way of paralyzing me, to keep me from expressing my soul’s deepest desires in the world. Some of the negative ego’s thoughts can be very seductive because they have been such a large part of our consciousness (albeit primarily unconscious) for our entire lives. They can be very sneaky. They don’t reveal their purpose by saying, “I am giving you this thought to keep you from expanding because I fear expansion.” Rather they say, “what a horrible person you are” or “you are unable to follow through with anything you do and you never will”. It is enormously liberating to be able to understand just exactly what these thoughts are up to, and to be able to say to them, when they arise; “ah yes, ego-based thoughts coming through, attempting to paralyze me and keep me from doing what truly brings me joy. I understand you, my friends. I know that the emotions around you are very deep; but because I understand you, and because I know that you do not represent who I truly am at the deepest levels of my being, I let you go. Thank you for coming to the surface so that you can be released”.
This to me, is the true meaning of freedom. It is about being able to tap into the vast reservoir of creative energy at our disposal, without getting caught up in self-imposed limitations. It is not about right or wrong, how hard we try or what kind of a person we are. It is about being conscious of what roles the different aspects of our consciousness are playing in our lives. It is about creating distance between how we experience ourselves and the thoughts and emotions that come into our head; so that we assert ourselves as the masters of our own consciousness instead of being caught in a cycle of reactivity.
This practice is not necessarily something that is accomplished in one day. However, once you begin to apply it, the results can be very quick and quite remarkable. It is about getting the message behind the thoughts that make you uncomfortable, acknowledging this message, and watching those thoughts lose their charge. There is however one more ingredient to this process. You need to believe (even if you don’t feel it at the moment) that you really are the being you desire to be; that your essence is truly magnificent.
It is you know.