How to Deal with Fear
I would like to talk about fear and about the message Anita Moorjani (author of “Dying to Be Me”) received to “go and live your life fearlessly”. It is a subject I am quite familiar with-having done extensive “field work” in the area-that is to say, having experienced a great deal of fear and anxiety over the years. During all this time I have managed to learn a few things, and I would like to share some of them here.
Most of us know by now that resisting, denying or nurturing fear only serves to magnify it; that the most effective way to deal with fear it is to acknowledge it, breathe into it and let it go. I wholeheartedly agree with this assessment and I am not going to belabor the point. It is also helpful, as Anita suggests, to turn our focus elsewhere.
There is something else that I have discovered about fear which I feel is sometimes overlooked. This discovery has been a cornerstone of my life. What I have discovered is that fear will completely lose its grip, that it will utterly dissolve, once I give myself permission, at the deepest level of my being, to release it. By “giving myself permission” I mean that I truly decide, at all levels, that my fear is not justified; that it is a distortion of my genuine experience of the moment.
For example, suppose one day you get a call from your doctor who somberly informs you that your x-ray is “suspicious”. Being human, you will undoubtedly experience a wave of fear, and it will not be easy to let go of. If the next day the doctor calls you back and says, “I’m terribly sorry, we totally misread your x-ray and it is completely normal”; your fear will be lifted off you very dramatically. The difference between your first response and your second is that, in the first case, your deepest emotions are telling you that fear is a justified response to your situation. In the second scenario (after the misdiagnosis is revealed) these same emotions tell you that you that fear is no longer valid, that you no longer have anything to be afraid of. So what happened? After all is said and done, you gave yourself permission to let go of your fear. You decided that fear was not justified by your circumstances; that it would be inauthentic, even delusional to feel fear when there was no longer any reason to feel it.
Most of us don’t face this dramatic a situation when we encounter fears in our lives. I would submit, however, that when we experience fear for whatever reason, on some level we are giving ourselves permission to feel it, because we believe it is “justified” or worthy of our putting energy into. We may tell ourselves on a mental level that we are turning everything over to God, or that we believe that we just need to allow and let the fear go-but the crux of the matter is that the fear will never really dissolve until we believe, deep inside, that it is unjustified and essentially illusory-that is to say, until we give ourselves permission to let it go and to “go and live our lives fearlessly”. This is one of the reasons Anita says that what we believe, at the deepest levels of our being, is so important in determining the reality we live in.
There is one more amazing thing I have learned. I learned that as soon as I tuly make the inner decision that my fear is an illusion; it dissolves instantly. In fact it dissolves in direct porportion to the extent that I have decided it is unreal. Time and time again, fears that have paralyzed me and seemed momentous turn to mist, the minute I throw that inner switch; the minute I decide that the energy associated with fear is a distortion, that the fear itself is an illusion. (At this point someone usually says, “well what about if you are being attacked by a Grizzly bear. Fine, I’ll give you that one. But the bears in my neighborhood are brown bears; very shy and almost always harmless).
I was once told by my wise channelled friends that “any fear let go of in faith shall manifest for the highest good”. In other words, anything I am afraid of will be taken care of and will work out for the best, if I simply let the fear go and just relate to the moment I am in. Do you realize what a completely liberating statement that is? It is one of the most liberating statements you will ever hear! Moreover, the principle has proven itself to me, down to the tiniest detail, time and time again. If I had managed to believe it consistently, I would have saved myself a great deal of emotional grief and physical illness over the years.
But I am getting much better at this game. I am beginning to see the alchemy revealed when I finally give myself permission to live my life fearlessly. I am finally allowing myself to simply be.
I highly recommend this for us all.