For me, being authentic does not mean “doing what I feel”. I am a frail human and I feel and think all kinds of crazy stuff. My emotions can be dramatically effected by things as innocuous as the temperature outside, having to get up early, or the dog not answering when I call. Indeed, contrary to the old sixties mantra; not always doing what I feel is an essential aspect of my spiritual growth. It is one of the keys that has allowed me to open to the expression of my soul’s purpose here on the earth plane.
Don’t get me wrong. Not always doing what you feel should not be confused with suppressing what you feel. Suppressing, running from or fighting uncomfortable thoughts only makes them more powerful. So does feeding them, nurturing them and acting out of them. What I choose to do, what sets me free, what allows my energy to truly move; is to only nurture and act on those thoughts which express the deepest most authentic part of my being.
For example, yesterday the real temperature in Vermont rose to over ninety degrees. I had tasks that I wanted to accomplish and I stuck with them, but by late afternoon I was feeling overwhelmed and frustrated. Obsessive thoughts and uncomfortable emotions started to come into my consciousness. I have learned not to beat myself up about such moods, but to simply allow them to be and observe them. Authenticity to me did not mean putting energy into this condition that I found myself in or acting out of it. It meant accepting the state, but also exercising discernment. So I asked myself, “what exactly is going on here? Why do I feel the way I do?” The answer was quite obvious. I was under physical and emotional stress, and I was not feeling consciously in touch with the deepest aspect of my being. So I did a little affirmation, “surface thoughts and disturbing emotions floating through. These do not express the deepest, clearest aspects of my consciousness that I know”. And I lovingly let the thoughts and emotions flow through me. Authenticity to me means remembering who I am and trying to stay true to that. It does not mean believing in or being held captive by any thought that comes into my head.