A Truly Momentous Event ***
Something truly momentous happened to me today, although the entire event took all of three seconds. I was putting a label on a CD (the one with the photo of me “talking” to a large wooden statue of St. Francis). As I was affixing the label, I looked down at my face, and from some hidden place came the words, “what a nice man!”.
This might sound strange, even trivial, but for me hearing these words was a revelation; an opening to a deep, heretofore unrecognized wellspring. To be able to look at my face and genuinely say (and more importantly to feel) these words seemed life changing. It has taken me 65 years to be able to say this about myself; and even as I post this, part of me wants to cry.
I also feel some embarassment, and I am aware of how deeply conditioned we are not to love ourselves. Part of me shrinks from this simple act of self-acceptance. But on a deeper level there is a great sense of relief: that I can finally look at myself and feel the goodness in what I see, instead of recoiling. I am reminded of author/near death experiencer, Anita Moorjani’s, exercise where she asks people to write down their good and their “bad” qualities. Invariably people come up with example after example of the “bad,” but have a very tough time coming up with the good.
It is my sincere wish that we can see beyond the fearful masks we have learned to wear into the inherent goodness of our souls.