"As a child I thought if I could touch the sky I could touch the face of God. As a man I learned that all I had to do was touch my own heart"
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A Diagnosis of Cancer

 

 

I was reading a while ago that Angelina Jolie was going to have another preventative cancer surgery. The article didn’t specify the nature of the surgery, but I assume it is to prevent ovarian cancer which is also associated with the gene that she posesses. I am certainly not judging her. I can clearly understand how people would assume, from a purely logical approach, that Ms. Jolie’s choice is best for herself and for her children.

 

Around 25 years ago I was diagnosed with testicular cancer. The diagnosis was based on two ultrasounds. I was told in no uncertain terms that I needed to have the offending testicle removed. In those days (I don’t know if the technique is different now), they could not do a biopsy, because the procedure had too high a risk of spreading the cancer. The ultrasounds showed a definite lump in one of the testicles. The diagnosis (which was unequivocal) was based on the ultrasounds. These confirmed what a physical exam had shown.

 

I was given essentially no wiggle room. The Urologist told me I had a 99 per cent chance of having testicular cancer. I was also told that this type of cancer is fast growing and there was no other option but to have the testicle removed immediately. My primary doctor (who had referred me to the specialist) scheduled another appointment with me after I had gotten the Urologist’s diagnosis. He asked me when I was scheduling the surgery and I replied that I had not decided whether I was going to have it or not. I will never forget his parting words: “Ted”, the good doctor said, “you need to schedule this surgery. I’d hate to see you commit suicide”.

 

Well,  I never did the surgery and 25 years later I am fine. There is no question that if I did have testicular cancer it would have terminated my physical existence a long time ago.   That’s simply a medical fact. The little lump is still there; the same size as it was 25 years ago, and I never pay any attention to it.

 

My decision not to have the surgery was compounded by the fact that all the docs were telling me that surgery for testicular cancer had a very high success rate and that my chances of recovery were excellent. Of course my mind used this information to try to convince me that, not only was I nuts, but a complete idiot as well.

 

Even some of my metaphysical friends were telling me to have the surgery. One woman I know (who actually had an NDE and wrote a book about it around 30 years ago) told me (at an IANDS support group no less) that if I didn’t have the surgery, the next time she saw me I would probably be “in a box”. (Not helpful).

 

So why didn’t I have the surgery? The answer might surprise you. It wasn’t because I believed that I could heal myself through alternative means (not that I am opposed to alternative medicine).  The fact is,  after I made my decision, I didn’t do that much differently, except to forget about the issue and let go of the fear. (Of course, that was no small matter)! I didn’t have the surgery because for many years I had been feeling this tremendous spiritual energy coursing through me (as I still today today). It was and is a palpable, vibrating, pulsating force; something I have written about earlier. It seemed to have a “destination” of its own, and when I didn’t block it, it would open up great vistas of happiness, peace and purpose. I chose not to have the surgery because, despite the weight of logic, reason and medical science impinging on me; I knew that getting cancer was incompatable with the flow of this energy and the direction it was taking me. I just knew it. I didn’t “believe” it. I also got confirmation from my channelled friends about this in a reading. This helped to tame my mind because they had proven themselves to me so many times before. Ultimately however, I made my decision based on the fact that I knew (correctly or incorrectly) that if I opened to this energy I would not get cancer.

 

This is not a conversation I can have many places. Let me make it very clear that I am not suggesting that anyone who is facing a similar diagnosis do what I did and forego surgery. Most likely, if you have a diagnosis like mine and you do not have surgery, you are going to die; not that I have anything against dying, I am actually looking forward to it.  :)  But before you move into the bliss of Spirit, you will likely undergo profound physical suffering.  That is not something I want to see for anyone.   

 

Because of the energy I was experiencing at the time, I knew I would be fine. I don’t believe I cured cancer; I just knew it was incompatable with the Force that was becoming the central purpose of my life. Cancer jusst did not seem like it could co-exist with this Energy. Period. The docs will say that I was one of the lucky one per cent. I only write this piece because I do believe that this kind of an experience needs to be shared; at the very least to offer a tiny bit of balance to all the other stuff that we are constantly bombarded with.

 

I am here. I am alive. I am well.

Some would say, I am still crazy after all these years.

And I still than that magnificent force that vibrates at the core of my being and leads me beside the still waters.